Travels in Taiwan - How to Travel For Less

One consideration when traveling is how to manage costs.  Here is a short guide to the costs of a trip in Taiwan.

First, getting here.  If you book early enough, you can get a round trip from Vancouver to Taipei for under $700 CDN, that being the price in mid-2017.  There are two major airlines that are headquartered in Taiwan, EVA Air and China Airlines.  I'd recommend either one.  Their equipment is new, the service better than North American carriers, and generally, they are less expensive.

Second, getting around.  Taipei has a great subway system.  It's easy to figure out, fast, safe and cheap.  Most rides will cost about $1 CAD.  That's only two $10 NT$ coins.

Getting between cities around the outside of the island is best done by train.  I've written about that in another post.

Then there are buses.  I did take a few bus rides.  Some scenic areas have shuttle bus service.  Examples would be Taroko Gorge, the east coast line north of Taitung and around Sun Moon Lake.  Also, the only way to get into the island's interior is by bus.

Taiwan has a high speed rail system down the west coast.  I didn't take it because, other than the excitement of going that fast, it was more expensive and the stations are further outside of each city they stop at.  Sometimes 15 to 20 km outside.  Not convenient for the hiker/backpacker.

Regular restaurant meals are somewhat similar in price to Canadian establishments.  Perhaps a bit cheaper.  However, you can eat from street vendors and small food stalls.  I've written about food elsewhere.  If your accommodation provides free breakfast, use it.  You can pick up steamed buns on the street for 25 NT$ (about $1.25).  Instant noodles are cheap here and there are many varieties.  Hot water is available many places.  Fruit is cheap and good.  The island is noted for it.

Accommodation is next.  I booked everything through Expedia, in advance, and I generally used hostels, picking cheap places close to the train station in each city.  Per night costs could be around 500 NT$ per night, which is around $25 CAD.  Some offer free breakfast, some don't.  All have free WiFi, most have kitchens, boiling water machines, fridges, showers with good hot water, but often no towels supplied.  Because of the time of year I was there (late Oct early Nov), dorms were not often busy.  In some cases, I was the only person there.

Travels in Taiwan - Sun Moon Lake

After a quick trip to Mt Yushan and a climb to the summit early Tuesday morning, it was off to Sun Moon Lake.  The bus ride took a couple of hours and the route from Yushan National Park down to the valley took us on torturous roads and a major loss of altitude.

Sun Moon Lake is Taiwan's largest body of fresh water and is a tourist center, ringed with lush forested hills and dotted with temples.  Despite this, I found it quiet and peaceful, at least early in the morning.

The best deal is to get a day pass on the shuttle bus for NT$80 (about $4 CAD), which will take you around the important bits, getting off and on as the inclination strikes you.

A Confucius temple where students go to curry favour before exams, to a pagoda built by Chiang Kai-chek in honour of his mother, with a commanding view out over the lake.

I hiked up to tea plantations on the hillsides above the Lake and I explored temples and wandered on trails along the Lake.  It's normally a very busy tourist location, but it was quite calm and relaxed when I was there.

After 3 nights at the local hostel, it was time to take the bus to Taichung, the last new city on my round-the-island tour.

Travels in Taiwan - Taking the Train

This is a new experience for me.  In all my years, I can count only three real trips by train.  Two in Canada when I was a high school student, and one a year ago through China to Tibet.

In Taiwan, all the main cities are connected by train.  One could probably go around the whole island in a bit more than a day, all on the train.  That was my route, just stretched into 3 weeks.

They are cheap.  A 4-hour ride will cost about $20 CAD.  They run exactly on time.  They are comfortable. You can pay by credit card.

There are different rates depending on the time of day, and one essential app for the traveler's phone is called "Taiwan Railway", adless train schedule, by DIN Lab.  The only thing you can't do (yet) is purchase tickets, although they say that's coming.

What I would do is find the departure time I wanted and just show that screen to the ticket agent.  Although most of the agents spoke some English, it seemed less confusing to use the phone app.

Trains in Taiwan - More comfortable than a bus and, in my limited experience, better views.

Travels in Taiwan - Food

This is one area where language really is a barrier. 

My experience so far is that there is little English spoken, at least a lot less than the guide books would lead you to believe.  Few menus are in English.  In fact, at any eating establishment selling a number of items, there is full page checklist, all in Chinese characters.  Not exactly foreigner friendly.

Some places have an English menu.  Usually this will have pictures.  You can order by pointing. 

Many of the smaller street stalls only sell a few items.  These are usually on display.  A glass steamer full of steamed buns, for example.  Point, indicate how many you want and the merchant will post the price on the register, or use fingers.

Of course, there are stores like the ubiquitous 7-11s, Family Mart, etc., But you wouldn't want to try and live like that for very many days.  Most cities have stores in the Carrefour chain.  You can get anything you want there.

And, if you want to spend more, you could try regular restaurants.  I mostly avoided them.

One food source I did try several times was the night markets.  I first read about them, and then "Waterfront Cities" mentioned them in their episode on Taipei.  These markets seem to have almost everything.  A few of the things I was even able to identify.

I tried a couple of buffet-type places, but they were disappointing.  Items you thought should be hot were actually cold. 

And if you were really desperate, you could always resort to a North American import...

Travels in Taiwan - Furthest South

I arrived in Taitung 2 days ago and this morning the train will take me around the southern end of the island and up the west side to Tainan.  Tainan was once the capital of the city and is one of the oldest.  That means it has a history worth exploring.

The east side of the island is quite new so there is nothing particularly compelling about its cities.  It's more about the natural scenery here.

Yesterday, I took a bus north as far as Sanxiatai.  Since the train's route is inland, my ride from Hualien to Taitung showed me nothing of the coast this part of the country is noted for.  So I explored part of that coast by bus.

It was very windy on the coast, with huge breakers rolling in from the Pacific.  My walk at the terminus was out to a small island connected by a rather unusual bridge, one that looks like a dragon swimming out to the island, with 8 humps. 

It has another, more mythical, significance, something about the 8 Immortals. 

Steamed buns in different flavors comprised the meal choices I made during the day.  Two for breakfast and three for lunch.  Pork, red bean, bamboo... They were all good.  One town along the way has earned a reputation for theirs.  And there is always lots of fruit.

A quick trek to the city's Carrefour for supplies and the day was over.

Travels in Taiwan - Early days

I arrived in Taiwan early Wednesday morning after 12 hours on the plane from Vancouver.

It's now Sunday morning and I've spent 2 days in Taipei, took the train over to the east coast and am about to leave Hualien after 2 nights here.

Does this country have infrastructure.  That's a statement, not a question.  And it all seems to work.  Two comfortable hostels so far, hot water, traffic lights that actually work, crosswalks that drivers sometimes pay attention to, traffic rules, advanced bus and train systems...  It's a long list.

Things I've noticed so far, in this country of 23 million, based just on Taipei and now Hualien, a small city of about 100,000:

There are more 7-11 stores here in one small city that in all of BC, possibly.  From the park where I'm sitting, I can see two.  Correction, three. They are, literally, on every block.

Train and metro systems are easy to use.  There is just enough English to make it simple.  And it's cheap.  Metro rides are about 20 to 30 NT$, about $1 or so Canadian.  A 3-hour train ride cost me about $20 CAD. 

It's warm here.  I'm just north of the Tropic of Cancer.  Anything more than shorts and a tee shirt is seriously overdressed.

So far, the place seems clean and well-maintained.  It's not that there's no garbage around, but it does get cleaned up.

Small motor scooters are everywhere.  Thousands and thousands of them.  They carry everything from 1 to 4 people, sacks of produce, bags of recycling, pet dogs...

The SIM card  I got for my phone cost less than $50 for 30 days, although I only need it for 3 weeks.  It has unlimited data, a good credit for voice calls and gives me 4g coverage pretty much everywhere.  And it was all set up for me by a helpful woman at a kiosk in the airport.

Corporate Influence in BC Politics - Time to End It

News came out this past week revealing the kind of influence industry, specifically the Oil and Gas Industry, has had on government policy here in British Columbia.

The story appeared here in DeSmog Canada, based on documents released to the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives.

Apparently, the Climate Leadership Team hired by the BC Liberals made 32 official recommendations to the Liberal Government.  Not one of them was adopted by the government.  Now, we know why.

Secret, parallel. meetings with industry and corporate donors set the parameters for BC's climate action, despite Premier Christy Clark's duplicity in pointing to the recommendations of the Climate Leadership Team at the UN's Paris Climate Meetings.  Recommendations that were not adopted.  Not a single one.

This highlights the power that industry has in influencing government policy, particularly when those industries are major donors to political parties.

Fortunately, the "wild west show" here in BC is about to end.  The new GreeNDP government has introduced legislation that will end corporate and union donations as well as put a cap on individual donations.  It's well past time.

Hurricane Harvey - Another Chance to Connect the Dots

An opening caveat - I'm not saying that this summer's events were "caused" by climate change.  But there is little doubt that they have been made worse by human-caused climate change.  So, in no particular order....

There are the forest fires near Los Angeles, one apparently the largest fire in the city's history.  Hundreds of homes are at risk and many people have been evacuated.  A state of emergency has been declared.  Temperatures are in the high +30s Celsius.  Another story here.

The LA Times posted an editorial "Harvey should be a warning to Trump that climate change is a global threat", noting that perhaps if Trump were to consult the experts, he might get some information worth acting on.  Unfortunately, this seems to be the way knowledge is viewed these days.

Houston has been flooded.  This is the fourth-largest city in the USA and it's mostly under water.

But for some reason, the media is reluctant to even discuss the elephant in the room: Violent storms like this one are made more violent by climate change.

If you want some information about how hurricanes form and how warm water and air interact, it can be found here.

The Guardian carried an article wondering why crucial questions about hurricane Harvey are not being asked.

An all-time record heat wave is affecting California, the Weather Underground writes.

Here in BC, it's been a record summer for area burned.  The Southern Interior is in the grips of a record dry, hot, spell and fires are breaking out all over.  The Province has been in a declared a state of emergency since July 1st and it was just extended, for the fourth time, until September 15th.

And yet, in social media, it is STILL easy to find posts pooh-poohing climate change, sea level rise, carbon emissions.... anything, really, that has to do with what is so easily observable, if only these people would crawl out of their mothers' basements and look.

Is sea level rising?  Apparently, yes.

Are glaciers melting at an unprecedented rate?  Apparently they are.

Even the occasional climate change denier has had to admit that they misspoke themselves.  They lied, in other words.  In the UK, prominent denier Nigel Lawson has admitted that claims of temperature decrease were false.

Rolling Stone had a recent article pointing out, as many others have, that Houston should serve as a wake-up call for Global Warming.

Articles have been comparing Katrina, Sandy and Harvey.

And it's not just in North America.  It's in Europe and in Asia....

Claims that what we see happening is natural is simply "junk science", as the article points out.

In a lengthy article, What Climate Skeptics Taught Me About Global Warming, the ways that science goes about finding relationships between events.  One example, that of smoking and cancer, is examined along with climate change and global warming.

There is a backlash starting against "leaders" and civic officials who can be accused of ignoring facts and putting whole populations at risk.  "Climate Change Denial Should be a Crime".  Apparently, about this time in 2016, the head of flood control: 

criticized scientists for being “anti-development,” and not only ignored but denigrated studies — even those conducted by his own department, one of which he called “absurd” — that suggested development was worsening flooding, or that urged him to leave prairies intact to absorb floodwaters.

Almost exactly one year later, Harvey struck.  They can't say they weren't warned.  And, as the costs are being added up, it is looking like Harvey could cost in the vicinity of $200 Billion.  Only a few days ago, the estimate was closer to $160B.

And it's not much better in Canada.  "We are Not Well Prepared..." states an article on CBC News. 

Insurance companies have been taking this seriously for a few decades now.

And this is just the beginning of what is already a very heated argument.  

Sanity needs to prevail.

BC Fire Season 2017 - September 4

The long weekend has mostly come and gone.  By this time of the year, the nights are usually getting cooler, the air is starting to clear, heat haze is disappearing, the tourists have gone back home and we start thinking about getting ready for fall hiking, cleaning out the garden....

Not this year.

This is what our province looks like today.  The intense fires of the Cariboo are still burning, new evacuation orders are bring issued daily, new fires have started in the the Southeast, some forcing more evacuation alerts and orders, the temperatures continue extremely hot and it's still very dry across much of the south of the province.

West of Cranbrook, a large, intense fire near Moyie Lake has forced the evacuation of the area near the lake, visibility has been reduced on Highway 3, no boats are permitted on the lake at all to make way for helicopters and water bombers tanking up, forest access has been completely restricted in the whole Rockies Forest District, no off-road ATV use is permitted anywhere, and no change in the weather is anywhere in sight.

Still, in the Kootenay Lake valley, we remain relatively calm.  There are a few small fires, some in steep terrain to the north and west and some to the south, closer to the US border.  There are a couple of evacuation alerts. We've had smoke every day for weeks now and the air quality is quite poor.  Some of our neighbours are being affected by it.  For us, we water the garden early in the morning, do what yard work we can before the sun comes up and then we mostly work in the shade or go inside.

Where we are, daytime temperatures are mostly just below +30C and at night it's not cooling off.  Last night, for example, it was still +22C at midnight.  It managed to crawl down to +18C by 6 am.  We have two fans running on the main floor so it sounds like a twin turboprop airplane taking off.

How much longer?

Either With Eyes Open, or Not

From the pages of the National Post (founded by Conrad Black - remember him?):

Andrew Coyne: After his Charlottesville response, no excuses possible for TrumpThe case against Trump is so voluminous that by this time argument is pointless. You either have the judgment to see him for what he is, or you do not

When normally right-of-center publications go this far, it's time to remind Houston that we have a problem. 

Suffering Under Obama

Came across this article that provides some answers to those who complain how terrible times were under Obama.

Eight Years of Suffering Under Barack Obama

I wonder when we'll start seeing this one, but with a newer face....

Climate Change - The News Just Keeps Coming

There's really not much more to say about climate change that hasn't been said already, but here are links to more articles that highlight the unusual nature of 2016 and more reinforcement about what's happening.

The climate change deniers will say that scientists are exaggerating.  In fact, says this article, scientists are far too frightened for their jobs to talk about what they really know.  The article goes on to highlight moves China is making to secure land for crop production, around the globe.  Why?  Because China believes there will be serious food security issues related to climate change.

The Pacific Northwest and Europe have been sweltering under unseasonably hot, dry weather.  The Weather Underground has an interesting article about conditions in those places.  Interestingly, temperatures would have been even higher had it not been for all the smoke coming from those forest fires.

Then there is this article highlighting a report compiled by 13 US Agencies.  It starts out by noting that the report is awaiting approval....

"The average temperature in the United States has risen rapidly and drastically since 1980, and recent decades have been the warmest of the past 1,500 years, according to a sweeping federal climate change report awaiting approval by the Trump administration."

 Climate Central also weighs in on how hot this summer has been.  The article has a web interactive feature, but it only works for locations in the USA.

NOAA, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, discussed how unusual 2016 was and how repeated experiments and observations lead to the conclusion that this rapid pace of climate change is caused by humans.

Natural gas has been touted as one solution to our climate change woes, at least as a great transition fuel.  The BC Government was trying desperately to get an LNG project going until the company involved pulled the plug in mid-2017, citing poor prices and poor prospects.  However, this article says that Natural Gas will NOT save us from the perils of climate change.

Meanwhile, in BC, the fires keep burning.  It's well past time to connect the dots.

BC Fire Season 2017 - August 15

A fellow I know in town posted this earlier on Monday:

RAIN AT LAST

This is the first day in Kaslo that we have had rain since July 10th and the first day since July 22nd that the temperature will not exceed 30 degrees.
The average high in July was 33.5 and that for August so far 33.9, with a mean daily temperature of 23.3 in July and 24.3 so far in August.

We are also hoping that the smoke, that has not allowed us to see across Kootenay Lake for the last few days, will dissipate, but I see there are eleven new fires along the west side of Kootenay Lake including an evacuation alert at Kokanee Creek along Highway 31 to Nelson.

Yes, for all of Monday, the temperature didn't go above +18C.  That's lower than the temperature has been most nights for the past couple of weeks.

We have had some showers, but nothing substantial.  Cloud and some fog and enough precipitation to dampen down the dust and cool things down a bit.

Overnight on Monday, it dropped to +12C.  That's almost like fall temperatures, and it was cool in the morning, allowing me to go work in the woods for awhile and not feel like I was dying.

The smoke, though, is still here.  We still can't really see across the Lake, which is only a mile away.

Sunday, we decided we needed to get away, so we drove over to the Slocan Valley and camped at Slocan City.  It was almost cold that night.  Biked for a couple of hours on the Slocan Valley Rail Trail.  No smoke, cool and fresh after the rain Sunday night.  It was a nice break.

America in the News....Again

Y'all saw the news, probably heard it too.  So I won't bother delving into it again, not even just for the fun of it.  So, I'll just post this, which I would find quite amusing if it wasn't so troubling:

 As another commentator put it:

One is an extremist group that preaches violence, might is right, racism and freedom of speech (only for themselves) but would rather the blame for their actions go to anyone else but themselves (YOU'RE the racist!).

And the other is ISIS.

BC Fire Season 2017 - August 12

With the fires that are raging in some parts of British Columbia this summer, our little valley has been relatively quiet, so far.

There are over 140 fires burning across the province, but only a small number here in the West Kootenays.  The closest ones to us include the Harrop fire, which is south of Kootenay Lake's West Arm and one called, interestingly enough, the McCormick Creek fire, south of Salmo.

There is significant smoke in the air, though, and most days we can't see much of the other side of Kootenay Lake, about a mile distant.  I can't imagine how bad the air quality must be in parts of the province where the fires are larger and much closer.  This was the view looking west from our house late this afternoon.  Clouds are starting to appear, and they say there is a chance of cooler weather and some showers.

Air quality is noticeably bad and with the heat, which has been at or over +30C every day for a few weeks now, and not cooling down much below +20C at night, there is little incentive to work outside.  I usually spend the afternoons in the basement, working on other projects.

Some time ago, we put together an emergency plan of sorts and have some bags and boxes packed and stacked by the door.  We realize that if something happens, it could happen quickly, and we need to be ready.

Over the past couple of days, we had our twin grandsons visiting.  Being Kootenay Kids, they have heard about the possibility of evacuation, they've seen the smoke and they understand something of what that means.  One of the boys told us that if we needed to evacuate we had to bring the LEGO boxes with us.  He even carried them upstairs himself and put them with the other bags.  So three boxes of LEGO are stacked by the door, just in case.

There are, of course, a number of other areas around the globe where fires are raging.  This article has a number of good images and maps showing how extensive the fire situation is.

Even the Pacific Northwest has been covered with smoke.

So we wait.  And we watch.  And we try to prepare for what might come.

A Taxing Issue

The Fraser Institute is again trying to convince Canadians that we are being crushed under a tax burden greater than anywhere in the world.

According to the Broadbent Institute, though, we're not.  In fact, we're at the low end of global norms.  The article challenges the Fraser Institute's "tax freedom day", pegging the average tax load in the mid-20% range, far lower than the Fraser Institute's number of 40%.

Read the article to see the reasoning and the numbers behind this difference.

Of course, there is an agenda here.  If the Fraser Institute can convince enough Canadians that we're being crushed by taxes, the next step would be to convince us that our system of single-payer, universal healthcare is to blame.  Move to an American-style system, blindly ignoring the fact that the American system costs more than twice as much for far poorer results.

Remind me again why the Fraser Institute is still allowed to pursue a partisan agenda on the taxpayer's dollar through its charitable status?

Turning Up the Heat

It's been a hot summer in British Columbia's south this year.  Stories about this are very hard to ignore.

It's BC's second-worst wildfire season.  From earth-orbiting satellites, this is what it looks like out here:

It's been record-breaking hot in Europe too, with health warnings being issued in several locations.

Of course, this is exactly what scientists predicted several decades ago.  Now it's here.  And it's going to get worse.  If people thought refugees fleeing war were a serious problem, consider how it will look as 20% of the world population starts to flee parts of the world that will become uninhabitable over the coming decades.  Fleeing blistering temperatures and crop failures.

The wildfires in BC aren't only a symptom.  They are adding to the problem, by releasing even more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.  Last year, when a severe wildfire raged through Alberta's Fort McMurray, it wasn't considered proper to wonder if our fossil fuel use was linked to a changing climate which was causing such extreme fire events.

Of course, we know that it is.  We've been told for years.  A very small amount of research should be enough to make most sensible people think soberly about what needs to be done.  

Some will argue that a) it's a hoax and no action is necessary, or b) it will cost too much and will wreck the economy.  What such positions conveniently ignore is that we are paying already for our inaction, and it will only get worse.  Much worse.

We could start to connect the dots and start serious action now.  Or we could kick the can down the road a bit further.  At least now we have some idea what the future will look like.

Righting Past Wrongs

The news and social media have been full of the Omar Khadr case.

The following article appeared on the CBC's website: Why Will Omar Khadr receive $10M?  Because the Supreme Court Ruled his Rights Were Violated.

Many, including, of course, the Conservatives and their supporters, are outraged.  The Globe and Mail addressed this explilcitly:  Conservatives Must Move on From Demonizing Omar Khadr.

Since the story first hit the Canadian consciousness, there have been many, many other articles and a general outpouring of hate and invective from a predictable quarter.

Some, though, have tried to be reasonable and present some opposing information:

From the Hill Times - "Fomenting Misunderstanding for Paritsan Reasons"

Others have tried to discuss why there was a problem in the first place and who should be held accountable for the current situation.

And others have started on-line petitions showing support for Khadr or at least for the Government's decision to settle the matter.

Personally, I side with the opinion from the Supreme Court of Canada which has ruled Kahdr's Charter rights had been violated, that this meant the court case filed by Khadr had a very good chance of succeeding and that settling now was the most prudent thing to do, rather than spending more money fighting a losing battle.

Of course, there is always the question as to whether Khadr even threw the grenade in question.  That has not been settled.  This apparently means nothing to the people expressing outrage over the settlement.  I guess that means to them, the Rule of Law and the Charter are to be applied selectively, just to those whose politics, skin color, religion, or whatever, happen to agree with your views.

LNG Waves Bye, Bye

Just the other day, the major proponent of a long-talked-about Liquefied Natural Gas project on BC's west coast, pulled out.

Of course, Alberta's Conservative rump was quick to blame this development on the newly-elected NDP government.

The following article covers some of the bases: 

LNG Company Shuts Down Jason Kenney’s False Theory Blaming BC NDP For Cancelled LNG Project

Of course, the Alberta Conservative rump is having some difficulty explaining what they are FOR.  All I've heard so far is what they are against, and that would be the Alberta NDP.  This could be characterized as being a northern version of Make XXX Great, Again. 

I do hope this isn't seen as uncharitable, but what I see from Jason Kenney, Brian Jean, et al, is this:

It's NOT about YOU, Alberta

Any of us who have had the opportunity, or, perhaps, been unwise enough, to stand in front of a large group of people and speak about something will know that occasionally, it's possible to forget something.  To say something you wanted to say.  To blurt out something you really didn't want to say.  To mispronounce someone's name.  To leave something out.  Hell, even seasoned public speakers do that from time to time.

So it was with Canada's PM Justin Trudeau.  While calling out a list of Canada's provinces and territories during a Canada Day speech, he left out Alberta.  His wife poked him in the ribs after and likely reminded him of his error, and he did apologize, profusely, several times, after.

But the damage was done.  The lunatic right was all over it in an instant, suggesting everything short of immediate succession from the union (or the Confederation, or whatever it is Canada calls itself).

Jason Kenney and Derek somebody or other, two unite-the-right conservative party wanna-be leaders decided, for their own pander-to-the-base reasons, to play this, once again, as a nobody-loves-Alberta-and-its-contributions-to-Canada story.  Again.  God, I am so sick of entitled twits whining about how nobody loves them and how they don't get any respect.  They should live in a part of Canada where that is REALLY an issue and where people really don't have anything, in comparison, of course.

Brian Jean, the Wild Rose leader, the one who once chastised the Alberta NDP for actually keeping an election promise (the shame, the horror) made sure to add his two cents worth as well.  @BrianJeanWRP tweeted: 

"Happy Canada Day. Our country is stronger because of Alberta and, unlike our Prime Minister, I won't ever forget that."

Classy, Brian.  Classy.  There were quite a few tweets in response, most from more reasonable and sensible people than Brian Jean, apparently.

Anyhow, collectively, these three, and their supporters, have just managed to open Alberta up for more ridicule.  The Beaverton had this to say, in a short article entitled: 

Albertans erect ‘forgotten province’ memorial in wake of Trudeau’s Canada 150 address

A former member of the Alberta Legislature had a bit of a tongue-lashing for the three public figures leading the chorus of Alberta hurt.

Calgary's mayor had this to say: "Are we really that fragile as Albertans?....I screw up speeches all the time"

Exactly.  Don't we have more important things to worry about?  We love you Alberta, even more than we love Toronto.  But some of you need to get over yourselves.

EDIT:  Vice came up with the "Definitive Ranking of the Most Easily Offended Provinces".